Parenting Gone Wrong (so incredibly wrong!!)

One morning last week, when I woke Avery for school, I noticed that she’d fallen asleep with five hundred Silly Bandz wrapped around both wrists. And her hands were a frightening shade of purple… because Silly Bandz have a tendency to wrap around each other and form a big, tangled mess on a child’s wrist, which apparently then constricts the blood flow to the hands. Lovely.

Not only did the child have purple hands for a while that morning, but she also sported red marks on her wrists for a few days afterward. (I swear, we do not tie her up, no matter how unruly she gets… but I can only imagine what her teachers at school must’ve thought!)

I lectured Avery that morning about how unwise it is to sleep with Silly Bandz tangled around her wrists… and stressed the fact that her hands really are useful and she certainly does not want to lose them at such a young age. I’m fairly certain she understood and will never do this again.

Yet, for some reason, Nick felt the need to bring this up again last night, as he was tucking her into bed. Every night, Nick makes Avery repeat the “bedtime rules” as he’s tucking her in. They go something like this: “Be quiet. Stay in bed. Go to sleep. No toys.” Now he’s added “No Silly Bandz” to that list. So, last night, as they were going over the rules, yet again, Nick decided to share a story with his dear daughter.

It started like this…

“When I was a kid, we lived on a farm… and we had goats. And one thing Papaw did was make sure the boy goats couldn’t make babies…” (See where this is going???)

I was wildly amused and completely terrified at the same time when I realized what story he was about to tell this poor child (in case you’re wondering, it involved the following key words: rubber band and ball sac… dear God!). And, of course, starting out the way he did turned into a mini-sex ed talk, too… which is always fun!

I’m about 103% certain that Avery will never wear Silly Bandz again… to bed or otherwise. And who could blame her… I mean, really!!! I’m not sure if she thinks her hands will fall off or she’ll be unable to make babies one day, but either way… I think the Silly Bandz will forever be a non-issue at bedtime!

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5 Responses to Parenting Gone Wrong (so incredibly wrong!!)

  1. Baby Pickel says:

    Hehe! What a great post. Made me giggle because it’s so true.

    I’m happy to have stumbled upon your blog 🙂 It’s so great! Keep it up!

    Hugs, Camille

  2. MommaC says:

    *LMBO*

    Oh, dear. Just more proof that we never know where the seeds we sow will blossom. Two people I love, forever changed by goat-neutering rituals from three decades ago!

  3. That’s a story that will be fun to relive in about ten years, when you can find out just what she was thinking. Oh my, how hilarious!

  4. Julie K. says:

    Wow! Any bedtime “story” that involves the use of “ball sac” truly is one that ought not to be missed! Scary though, her poor little hands. She will probably always couple bracelets with ball sacs. Way to go, Nick! 🙂

  5. ellie says:

    too hysterical!!

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