I just discovered this Friday meme today (thanks to Kitten!)… and I thought it sounded like oodles of fun. So here goes…
Dear Lizzie the Evil Min Pin,
Really. You don’t have to wake me every morning with the most annoying, high-pitched bark you can muster… repeatedly. You just don’t. I’m not quite sure why it’s so urgent for you to go outside every morning, anyway… when I know that you’ve already relieved yourself somewhere in the house. I know you have (because you’re evil and stubborn and unhousetrained like that!). So quit being the most annoying alarm clock ever, okay?
Thanking you in advance,
Dear Comet the Friendly Moose,
Your evil little (although older) sister could learn a thing or two from you, big boy. Thank you for NOT waking me every morning with an annoying, high-pitched (or low-pitched) bark. You are everything that a dog should be — big, hairy, stupid, loyal, friendly, housetrained, smelly, and PATIENT. You will wait patiently in your crate until 1pm if I require it of you, with no complaint… and that’s why you’ll always be my favorite dog. Well, that and the fact that you don’t generally relieve yourself all over the house. That’s pretty decent of you, too.
Dear People Who Assign Work to Me,
First, let me say that I’m grateful you do, in fact, assign work to me. I am, truly. Without you, my dogs would be eating that cheap, nasty, generic dogfood; my bookshelves wouldn’t be so chock full o’ yummy books; and my children wouldn’t have been treated to new PS2 and Wii games earlier this week. So, we’re all grateful for the work that I receive from you.
But, it would probably benefit both of us immensely if you realized that I’m just one, little person. Please don’t heap on the work… an insane amount of work with an impossible deadline (even for the best of workers, and Lord knows that’s not ME!)… and then get snippy with me when the deadline isn’t met.
Also, I would love it if you could keep in mind that (unlike you) I’m not salaried w/benefits, I don’t get personal/sick days or holidays, and I can’t leave my work at the office. And… I know this one must come as a huge shock, but… I DO require a small amount of sleep in order to function. I’m really sorry about that, but I’ve yet to find a way around it.
Sooo, in closing, let me warn you that next week’s deadlines probably won’t be met. And it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I waste countless hours on Facebook, ScrapFreak, Just Moms, Twitter… and, uhhh, my blog. Nothing to do with it!!
Okay, that was serious fun. Very therapeutic, just as I suspected! And I highly recommend that you hop on over to 3 bedroom bungalow and play along yourself! Now I’m getting back to work… really! 😉