I think I’ve blogged countless times about Lizzie the Evil Escape Artist Min Pin (yes, that’s her official name) and her attempts at procuring freedom.
Well, tonight’s rescue takes the cake. This one was nothing in comparison. Maybe Nick’s last rescue mission, where he jumped down a 6-foot cliff on the Ohio River after Lizzie played Frogger across the highway… maybe that one was more spectacular, but I didn’t do the rescuing then (so it doesn’t really count, in my book. Nick should write his own blog, don’t ya think??).
Anyway, this evening around 7:30pm, I’m in the kitchen preparing a scrumptuous spaghetti dinner for my kids, my momma (who came over after work to watch Dancing with me), and myself… when I heard one of the kids open our screen door, and I just KNEW Lizzie was history. Sure enough… I came running around the corner from the kitchen to see Avery standing with the door wide open, and Lizzie running like a bat outta hell up the hill across the street.
Damon tried to chase her down… as if THAT ever works. She’s fast… mad fast! So I yelled for him to come in and eat dinner and said, “She’ll either come home or she won’t!” I was a little irritated, and it had been a looooong day already.
For the next hour or so, I’d see Lizzie occasionally… in the yard across the street and even in our yard a time or two. But of course, when I called for her, she took off in the opposite direction, like she does. grrrrrrrrr.
So, by about 9:30pm, it’s completely dark out and still no sign of Lizzie. In fact, it had been more than an hour since the last time I’d seen her run past. Somehow I got the kids to bed, even though Damon was whining and crying, “What about Lizzie?!?! She sleeps with me every night! wahhhhh!” I promised him I would keep my eye out for the evil rat and hopefully find her by morning… even though I was really losing hope by then.
At this point, I broke down and texted Nick… to tell him that his precious evil animal was missing and that I hadn’t seen her in a while. He said, “She’s gone.” And even though I HATE this dog, my heart broke when he said that. She can’t be gone!!!!! I hate her; she’s a royal pain in every part of my body, Lord knows… but she’s LIZZIE, and she’s ours. Dammit.
So, I kept walking out to the front porch, listening for her… or for other dogs barking in the vicinity… something! And I finally heard her… barking her fool head off. Only I couldn’t tell where exactly she was. Her annoying, yippy bark can probably be heard for miles, so I couldn’t tell if she was down the street, or up the hill, or across the road in another neighborhood.
I stood in the yard, calling her name… and listening. And she kept answering me. I couldn’t tell WHERE she was, but I could tell that she wasn’t moving… and she was sounding a little distressed, like she was stuck somewhere maybe?
Of course, both of my kids were in the house sound asleep, so I couldn’t just leave them to go looking for her. So I stood in the yard “talking” to her for what seemed like forever… my heart breaking a little more with each pitiful bark she let out. If my neighbors didn’t already think I’m insane, I’m sure they do now!!
I finally walked down the road, just to get an idea of where she might be. Turns out, she wasn’t far. She was on our street, across the road… just a few houses down. And she was stuck in their fenced-in backyard. Lovely. I don’t know if she “fell” in their yard (because it’s on a hill, so that’s highly possible) or if they had rescued her earlier in the evening and had her there for safe-keeping.
So now I’m traipsing through someone’s yard in the middle of the night, hoping I don’t end up at the other end of some redneck’s gun (this is West Virginia, after all!). I could tell that these people were home, and most likely in bed for the night (their house was mostly dark, except for a few strategic “night lights” that had been left on). Although how they were sleeping with her making all of that racket in their backyard is beyond me.
I finally decided to ring their doorbell… but the bell didn’t work, of course. And I was feeling really rotten for waking them up, anyway. So I walked around the yard again, hoping to find a gate somewhere in the fence… a gate that would miraculously be unlocked for me.
And I found one. And… HAL-LE-LUJAH… it opened!!
I called for Lizzie, and she came toward me hesitantly, growling a little until she recognized my voice and knew she was safe. She ran at me then, and I snatched her up, quietly shut their gate, thanked my neighbors profusely in my mind for having an unlocked gate, and headed down the road with her in my clutches. Of course, the spastic animal tried to rip me to shreds during our walk home. Do you really think she WANTED to be free again?? Will she EVER learn? Dumb, dumb, dumb.
And like any mother, I was so relieved that she was home safe and sound, that I wasn’t even mad at her for the hell she put me through all evening. Of course, tomorrow, when she’s annoying me to no end, I’ll probably wonder why I was so happy to bring her home tonight!
Right now, Queen Lizzie is snuggled up in my bed, where she belongs, snoozing away… probably chasing bunnies in her dreams. Nick and I have decided she’s like a cat, with nine lives. If that’s the case, we figure she doesn’t have many left at this point. Dumb dog.