Wow, time flies. I feel like it was just July 1st and now it’s a brand new month already…
July was a pretty busy month for us… we went on vacation (the highlight of the month, for sure!); Nick started a new job; my workload picked up alarmingly; and this horrendous HEAT WAVE found us last week.
I haven’t blogged in the past week, because honestly, I just haven’t felt like it. Although Nick started a new job and is doing very well, we have yet to receive his first paycheck, and a month of him being unemployed is hitting us HARD at this point. It also hasn’t helped that my employer didn’t send one of my paychecks to me this month because, unbelievably, they confused it with one for the same amount that I received LAST July. Yes, I’m serious. I TOLD you it was unbelievable… So, I’ve been wallowing in my own self-pity a lot these last few days. wahhhhhh.
When Nick and I first met, and not too long after welcomed Damon to our family, multitudes of people showered me with THIS advice: It’s really hard “starting out” in your 20s and times are tough now, but they do get better.
Well, now I’m into my 30s with two children, and guess what?? So far I’ve seen no indication that this is getting any “better!” again, wahhhhhh.
Yes, I know that I’m a lucky person, and I do count my blessings every now and then. And I know that there are people in this world who have it a lot worse than I do… but, even so, I always pictured my life at 30 to be, well… not this one.
I don’t think Nick and I live a very “extravagant” lifestyle… we rent a small home, just enough for the four of us; we responsibly decided to rid ourselves of the possibility of ever reproducing again because we knew we couldn’t AFFORD more children; we share a vehicle; we don’t go on wild shopping sprees just because; we buy our groceries at Save A Lot; we don’t have credit cards in our wallets; and our kids wear a lot of hand-me-downs… just to name a few examples.
Yet, we still have an extremely hard time making ends meet on a regular basis.
I really WANT to believe that “things will get better.” Believe me, I do. I just don’t see HOW that will happen any time soon.
I’ve heard people in a similar situation say that they try not to worry because worrying doesn’t help any, and some of them also believe that “God will provide.” Maybe that’s what I’m missing—this sort of faith that comforts me and tells me that it’ll all be okay, even when I have no logical reason to think so (but that’s a topic for another blog post altogether!).
So, now that I’m “all over the page” here with THIS post, I guess I’ll end… and try to find something more uplifting to share. I know it’s Tuesday, and I’m due to post my …in other words quotation blog today… so stay tuned for that (and I promise not to whine and moan and feel sorry for myself in doing so!).