… that I could possibly enjoy 5 minutes of relaxation when both of my kids were running around the house with nothing better to do than make my life miserable?
You don’t know how many times I’ve had a mini-meltdown, and thought “Calgon! Take me away!” or actually been advised by well-meaning friends to “go soak in a tub and relax.” As appealing as that sounds sometimes, I know that it will be anything BUT relaxing, thanks to my offspring.
Well, today, I proved myself right when I attempted to do this (for the first time in, like, years), and my children were suddenly drawn to me, and the bathtub, with an animal-like magnetism.
I lit a candle, I poured some smelly, bubbly stuff in the running water, I gathered all of the tools necessary to remove unsightly hair from various places on my body (which has been neglected for longer than I care to admit), I actually made it INTO the tub and let out an audible sigh, “Ahhhhhhh.” This is the life.
For, ummm, about 2.5 seconds (and that’s being generous).
Suddenly, two little people, who, just moments before, were completely oblivious to my existence (they were busy building towers 3 feet tall out of every canned good in the lazy susan), flocked to the side of my bathtub. Four little eyes were wide with wonder (“What is Mommy doing in the bathtub?!?! Do you think she’s okay?”); four little feet were frantically trying to invade on my space in the warm, bubbly water; and then, my 2.5 seconds of peace and relaxation vanished before my eyes.
So, my bath experience turned into a family affair. Before I knew it, there were THREE of us in the tub (how we all fit in there, I’ll never understand). Damon was asking, “Mommy, why do you have hair on your tummy??” Then answered his question with another question: “Because you’re like a GUY??”
There isn’t enough Calgon in the world, people!
So, the next time someone suggests that I unwind in a nice, relaxing bath, they better watch out. I think there just might be a few more cans left in the lazy susan, and I am not above hurling one in their direction!
Calgon…. HA! Any other suggestions?